This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
