OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
