Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
