True but thats because hes a fetus.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
