What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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