NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
