Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We don't watch enough power rangers
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
