Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
