Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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