Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
