So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
