he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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