Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
