So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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