Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My balls are so social today.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize