if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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