he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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