mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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