I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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