I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
