I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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