it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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