you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
