Four minutes until I can fart!
we're making bets on your personal life
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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