and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think people are normalizing furries
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
