I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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