All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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