So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
