Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
