He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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