End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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