Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
