After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
