I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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