R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize