So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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