i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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