I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize