so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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