after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
