can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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