Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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