Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
