I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
