Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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