I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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