It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
