Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize