you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
