have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My vagina just recognized that song.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
