If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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