Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just high enough for therapy.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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