She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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