Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
