Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
