just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
