I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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