My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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